I'll Tell You My Dirty Little Secret
by SeaSaw
Summary: Another naughty one. Inspiration gathered from SawManic211's newest fic check it out . John/OC, Amanda/Hoffman hints. Dirty talk, dirty thoughts, dirty actions. Reviews always welcome.


_We can fight our desires but when we start making fires we get ever so hot. Whether we like it or not. They say we can love who we trust but what is love without lust. Two hearts and accurate devotions. But what are feelings without emotions?_

The hot water cascaded down her back, soothing the aching she felt externally but there was nothing that could stop the painful throbbing within the confines of her confused and weary heart. One hand remained plastered to the chipped and cracked tiles of the shower wall, her eyes closed as the red dye in her hair cascaded down white skin. It swirled at the drain before disappearing from sight, the very color of the dye making it look as though someone had attempted to murder her and she was bleeding to death - far from it, at least externally. The only pain about dying her hair red was keeping it maintained to keep herself from being easily noticed by anyone at the supply store she still visited to grab things for John that she could get easy access to. She picked her head up and turned the water off, stepping out and grabbing a towel, drying off her hair. Wrapping the towel around herself she slowly approached the mirror and wiped the steam off of it as if trying to study her own reflection.

She exited the bathroom still wrapped in a towel with her clothes in her arms, pausing in front of John's bed as he watched her very carefully, not saying a single word. She dropped her head and looked at the floor, pursing her lips together tightly and gripping tightly to the clothes in her hands and that was when she heard him moving. As she looked up he was motioning for her to come closer and she slowly approached, stopping by the side of it and dropping her clothes on the floor. She watched as he smiled and nodded, shifting over in the bed a bit…

Hoffman leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and his ankles crossed as well as he watched Amanda mutilate herself with a knife just to stop feeling whatever it was that plagued her. "Relationship problems again 'Mandy?" he smirked at the startled and annoyed look she shot him as she dropped the knife instinctively, blood pouring down the inside of her thigh. She grabbed the sheet pulling it over herself and he scoffed, shaking his head "Don't flatter yourself. You're too damn psychotic for me. I like when they don't fight back." He pushed off the wall walking over to her as she fussed with her pants, finally pulling them up and buttoning them before watching as he approached. He knew she was staring at the scars and it annoyed him enough that he had to look at them himself let alone someone else was eyeballing them. He got within inches from her before bending down and picking up the knife covered in blood, turning it around in the lighting of the room and then setting it down on the table. "What would John say if he found out you did this to yourself?"

"John would never see them…obviously…" She sneered and stuffed her box of 'goodies' under the bed and out of sight, annoyed at Hoffman's intrusion and more so his comment about "relationship problems". "What the hell did you mean when you said 'relationship problems' anyway?" When he didn't answer she peered at him out of the corner of her eye to see the wide smirk cross his features. "If you're talking about John, we're fine, he's just been busy lately." She washed her hands off in the sink to remove the blood that inadvertently ended up on them in the process of being startled by Hoffman.

"Oh I'll say he's been busy, busy fucking that little redhead of his." Oh, she didn't know, this was even better. He saw the expression of confusion on her face and grinned, eyes trained on her every movement.

"Excuse me? That's bullshit. John's riddled with cancer."

"Oh he looked quite 'healthy' when I saw him a few nights ago fucking her in the lair. You think I'm joking? I'd be more then happy to show you one night considering I'm pretty sure it happens more then a few times."

Amanda stared at him with her mouth open before frowning, her head dropping to look at the floor uncomfortably. Could he be telling her the truth? Was he really having a physical relationship with that bitch? "Christ, she's like…what…in her 20's…John's 52..."

"That doesn't seem to matter to either of them. Christ Amanda, John is a human being, don't paint him as a god." Scoffing, he brushed against her as he passed her to walk over to the table in the room that was littered with all kinds of destructive implements, picking each one up and looking them over.

Amanda approached him from behind, putting her hand on his shoulder and tugging to get him to turn around. "What the hell does he see in her anyway?! I swear this is ridiculous! She's like his fucking little pet…" Hoffman laughed at her choice of words, nodding his head and shrugging, holding up a screwdriver and waving it at her.

"Oh I don't know, perhaps that she's easy to manipulate. Come on Amanda, you're the biggest pain in the ass to deal with. Sure, she's a hardass but I easily broke her down and John's good at fucking with people's minds. Put the pieces together. He wants someone who's a challenge that's easy to mould once he gets a hold of them. You don't fit that category anymore. You do whatever he says but you'd probably strip right now if he told you. Where's the fun in that?" He loved the enraged look he saw play across her features, watching her turn her back and seethe in silence as he looked around the corner, wondering if John was 'busy'.

Beads of sweat cascaded slowly down the silky skin underneath of his fingertips and as he delicately traced the scars on her stomach he watched her skin quiver and felt her shudder, arching her back. His hands slid back down to her hips, pushing and pulling with her speed and rhythm, for once taking it slowly. These moments had been occurring more frequently - much more passionate occasions that John felt he owed to her with how well she took on the challenges of entertaining his 'darker' thoughts. They had been at this now for the better part of an hour and John was quite enthralled with not only the view, but her willingness. She was opening up to him more and in spite of her apprehensions, he could always find a way to offer comfort. He closed his eyes for a moment and gasped as she circled her hips, falling forward and placing her hands on the wall to try and not cause him pain. Her reasons for riding him like this were simply because of his cancer getting worse, but when they were entwined in an intimate embrace John often felt so much younger. His fingers dug into her hips, pushing her to move faster, feeling her muscles clenching around his member spasmodically for a moment. He reached up to her face, placing his hand on her cheek and pulling her face closer to his own and as she opened her eyes he peered directly into them before pressing his lips to her own, using his other hand to urge her on to both their climaxes.

She was trembling above him, biting her bottom lip to try and stay quiet as she arched her back, John's fingers digging painfully into her hips. "…that's it…" he urged her on, growling as he did so, unable to hold back his own grunts and groans. Her hips rolled at a maddening pace before she threw her head back and cried out, shuddering as John himself tossed his head back and gripped tighter to her hips (if that was even possible). She shuddered as she came down off her climax, unable to stop the collapse on top of him but she was gentle, panting hard as she lay against his chest. One of his favorite moments were these, feeling her soft skin against his own and running his fingers over it to feel goosebumps rise under the trail of his fingertips. He had her wrapped up in his arms, whispering softly to her, at one point causing her to chuckle along with him.

Amanda leaned around the corner with her mouth hanging open, Hoffman peering at her and watching her reactions. He smirked, shaking his head slowly and grabbed her by the arm when she irrationally debated on running over there and stopping this where it started. "I wouldn't suggest that" he spoke softly, yanking her away from the corner and suddenly watched her fall apart, starting to pace and hyperventilating as she felt like crying. "Oh for the love of god Amanda, I knew I shouldn't have shown you but you wanted proof. No better proof then that right there." He watched the brunette pacing around in the lair, walking her further away (well, more like dragging her) to keep her from alerting John to their spying - if he found out they were watching, he would hang both of them after a lengthy lecture about nosing into his 'personal business'. Amanda leaned against a table, breathing hard, her fingers curling up into fists before she pounded one of them into the table.

"You know…I'm up for a challenge…" he raised his hands in defense when she turned around with a knife in it and clearly the enraged woman wasn't going to take jokes very lightly as she rushed towards him. Grabbing her wrist with the knife in it, he squeezed till she dropped it and slammed her back into the wall, grinning deviously as she glared daggers at him. "…my offer still stands…"


End file.
